Still waiting

I’ve been off the bike for 15 days. “But who’s counting?” the saying goes. I am, although I wish I weren’t.

Week one was alright. I was finishing my finals anyway, and I was in pain because of my injury. Week two I was on vacation. My parents were here, I worked on my garden, I played with my cat. I sat in the park and drank with my friends. These are all things I enjoy. It was fine.

Something changed over the weekend. I still had plenty to do, but I pretty much hit my threshold for time without physical activity. I miss riding. I miss working out at Morning Bird (the place where I do weight training). Did I mention I miss riding? I always use riding as a coping mechanism for stress. To some degree it’s also an emotional crutch. I’ve always used it to feel good about my body and my own physicality. When I don’t have that a lot of old demons and bad, self-critical feelings start to creep back in.

It’s also been very triggering in terms of reminding me of my recovery from my really really serious injury, the one I suffered six years ago when I was doored and broke six ribs and was off my bike for a year, more or less. This most recent minor mishap aside I’ve been feeling better physically the last few months than I have at any time since I was doored. I desperately want to get back to that place, where I feel healthy and strong and can ride as much as I want to.

The thing that brought all this up now is that I was supposed to get my stitches out today. But when the doctor started removing my stitches she discovered that my wound is healing very slowly and hasn’t closed all the way. As the deep part of the puncture wound healed it pushed some tissue out trough the gash. So now I need to see a dermatologist — and maybe a plastic surgeon (?!) about closing the wound some other way, so that it can finish healing. Major suckage.

On the plus side, the doctor said I could work out tomorrow if I wanted to, within reason. I’m taking that to mean like, no jumping on and off the bike or, I don’t know, kettle bell squats. So tomorrow, hopefully, I am going to a) go to the dermatologist, b) keep my fit appointment to set up my new road bike (more on that another time!) and then c) if all goes well, ride tomorrow. I have a feeling that if I can do that everything will feel a lot better after.